My landlord came by yesterday to turn the pilot light back on. Of course, this song has been stuck in my head ever since.

I am an idiot.


Ugh.

Thanks to my mad defensive driving skillz (thanks Dad!), I narrowly avoided a collision with the supercool who tried to make a lane change INTO MY CAR.

I also appear to be fighting off some sort of illness. It comes complete with a hacking cough that feels like my lungs are being ripped apart.

This week can suck it.


My sister was giving tips on where to shop for her birthday present, but I didn’t need the help. #bestgiftever

My sister was giving tips on where to shop for her birthday present, but I didn’t need the help. #bestgiftever


Fluff.

Fluff.


The hilarious doctor I saw today was terribly concerned about me not having any cotton balls to use with my ear drops. So he shoved some into a rubber glove and made me take it home. #sweethookups

The hilarious doctor I saw today was terribly concerned about me not having any cotton balls to use with my ear drops. So he shoved some into a rubber glove and made me take it home. #sweethookups


This guy could be in charge of the country one day soon. I’d be okay with that.

This guy could be in charge of the country one day soon. I’d be okay with that.


Oh, thanks Grandma. I was wondering what Luda was up to these days.

Oh, thanks Grandma. I was wondering what Luda was up to these days.


My tooth hurts.

I had to make a dentist appointment. I’m going to a new dentist, because I’m pretty sure my old one did some shoddy work. She’s also the reason I’m terrified of going, even just for a checkup.

As soon as I felt the pain, I spiraled into a full blown panic attack, fighting back tears at the thought of going to the dentist. It took me a really long time to calm down enough to make the phone call, but I did it. I’m still freaking out. I won’t be able to stop thinking about it until I go. When it comes time to actually go there, it will happen all over again.

This isn’t normal, is it?


How To Meet Boys by Sarah

Scene: at a bar, where my friend is DJing.

"Hey, who’s that guy in the black shirt fiddling with the sound board?"
“Oh, that’s [name]. He’s one of the AV guys.”
“He looks like Diplo.”
“Yeah, he totally does.”
“He’s a mega babe. I’m into it.”

*leaves bar, never speaks a word to babe in question*

THE END.


Got my hairs did. Everything else is normal.

Got my hairs did. Everything else is normal.