Dog sitting on a Saturday night.

I accidentally got a little drunk while watching OutKast and then decided to do my taxes. Seemed like a pretty solid idea at the time.


Perhaps I should wait until tomorrow before I actually file it.

Coachella is stupid.

I’m watching the OutKast set from last night and everyone is so quiet. Whaaaaat? How are these people not losing their minds? So many deep cuts. They don’t even know what they’re seeing.

Idiots, all of them.

The baddest bitch in the dentist’s office.

The baddest bitch in the dentist’s office.

Always and forever.

(Source: kellymagovern, via sassyfontaine)

I have no idea what she is saying, but it doesn’t matter. Because “WHOOOOOOOOOAAAARRRRGHGGHHHHHH!” is a universal word that people use when they fall into a river on television, and that is all I need to know. Also, is he trying to rescue her with the boom mic, or just trying to make sure he captures the audio? Amazing.

Oh man, I needed this.

Every time God closes a door, he opens a window. Every time you reach the window, he closes it on your fingers. Every time he closes a window, the door locks. Every time God locks the door, the chimney collapses. You will never make it out of this house.
Live Every Day - Mallory Ortberg, The Toast (via emmyinabox)

This is unrelated, but every time I hear the phrase, “Every time God closes a door, he opens a window,” I imagine my dad yelling, “GOD, ARE YOU TRYING TO HEAT THE WHOLE NEIGHBOURHOOD?”

(via emmyinabox)

Fitness update.

Holy fucking shit my calf muscles hurt so bad it feels like they are being ripped apart every time I try to stand up oh god why did I do this to myself I can’t even touch them owwwwwwwweeeeee


I just got home. It’s really coming down out there. Buckets and buckets of rain—the kind we’re so famous for here.

I’m soaking wet from head to toe. All because someone convinced me that it was a good idea to go run up and down a massive set of stairs in the middle of a forest. In the pouring rain. After we ready spent over an hour at the gym this morning.

In the car on the way there, I kept thinking, “Why am I doing this again? Who is this person who suddenly can be convinced to participate in this remarkably miserable experience?” I never would have done it, even just a year ago.

On the way home, sipping a hot coffee in the car, drenched from the rain and sweat after nearly an hour of climbing stairs, I got my answer: This person is still me. I’m just kind of a badass now.



Nirvana: Pennyroyal Tea (Live On “Nulle Part Ailleurs”, Paris, France)