February 2012
Sometimes hitting the send button on an email is...
Yeah!
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Try again tomorrow, buddy.
Tonight I tried to put away a box of frozen waffles on a shelf instead of in the freezer. My roommate found them and put them away for me. I didn’t even remember taking them out. It was all very confusing.
Let’s try that one again, okay little brain? Yeah. Tomorrow.
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Hot Tip!
I keep forgetting to write about my most recent beauty discovery, which is crazy because I love it SO MUCH. Here it is: Revlon Colorstay Longwear Nail Enamel.
This stuff is pretty rad. It’s sort of like a combo of regular polish and gel polish. It’s like regular polish in the sense that it only costs friggin’ $8 from the drugstore. It’s like gel polish because a) it dries...
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Tomorrow
I will probably spend a lot of time looking for animated gifs of Cee Lo Green and his ridiculous cat. Then I will search high and low for a video clip of him laughing at his own jokes.
It will be a pretty good day.
KETCHUP CHIPS
Oh, Canada. If your country doesn’t have ketchup chips, you are missing out. These things are awesome, even when I’m sober.
Bruuuuuunnnnnchhhh!
Oh man. I had a pizza with eggs, prosciutto and hollandaise on it. AND I had breakfast bruschetta (ricotta and rhubarb preserves). AAAAND I had a gin cocktail. My tummy is so happy right now.
Saturday!!!!
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I suspect my landlord might be the coolest dude...
Last night I heard him having a dance party with his daughter to “Borderline” by Madonna. Then I discovered that he used to be a pro skateboarder. Now he’s a professor of some sort. He wears a lot of plaid and has a jacket sort of like Fonzie’s. Not only does he do all sorts of cool stuff, but he also has a cool attitude! He’s so friendly!
I want to be that cool....
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It's working out pretty well.
I noticed yesterday that we were almost out of toilet paper, so on the way home I stopped to pick some up because I knew I wasn’t going to be able to get to Costco before we ran out. For some reason, I was really proud of myself for remembering to buy it, so when I got home I presented it to my roommate with great fanfare. “Dude. I bought us a present!” I then held up the toilet...
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I really love Brazilian music.
There’s not tons of room in the middle. It is either music for chillin’ so hard you spit ice cubes, or music for dancin’ so hard your feet and butt (which you are shaking WAY HARD) ignite in flames. These are both activities at which I excel.
My dad hated watching The Voice, apparently.
Dad: “That guy was a Mouseketeer?”
Me: “EVERYBODY was a Mouseketeer.”
Dad: “EVERYBODY????”
Me: “Well, not everybody. But lots of super famous people. Ryan Gosling was one. He’s pretty legit.”
Dad: “Really? I didn’t know that.”
*pauses to think about it for awhile*
Dad: “Do you think Bruce Willis was a...
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Strange fascination.
Sometimes when I’m flipping through the channels on TV, I’ll pause on religious shows because they freak me out. Being non-religious, I never really fully understand what’s going on and it makes me nervous. ANYWAYS, the point of me telling you this is that I now know I feel the exact same way about watching Die Antwoord videos. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
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In which I imagine collaborating on a story with...
“So, the main character is a superhero, obviously.” “Yeah, but he’s not just a regular superhero. He’s a GOAT!” “A goat superhero who can’t control his powers, which leads to HIJINKS!” “Yeah, he can’t control his powers because he’s a RAGING ALCOHOLIC!” “And the main reason he drinks is because he’s a...